


Not a Good Boy but a Broken One

by T0p_z



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 01:31:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21499624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/T0p_z/pseuds/T0p_z
Summary: This is fictional. Everything just pulled out of my brain. Hope you enjoy.
Kudos: 12





	Not a Good Boy but a Broken One

**Author's Note:**

> This is fictional. Everything just pulled out of my brain. Hope you enjoy.

I think it's strange when people say I'll never fade, and maybe not to them but I haven’t seen myself for a long time now.  
People forget that just like them I am also made of flesh and bones.

When Brian first told me those words I felt strange but in a good way.  
The warmth behind those words stayed with me for quite some years.  
I overcame hardship after hardship thanks to those words.  
Even with my father not constantly there with me there was no hole in my heart because of the fatherly love you gave me Brian...Thank you. 

As a child my mother always told me she’d hope that my heart would stay pure and filled with joy.

Then there came a point where those words and my heart weren’t enough against the blatant hate towards me.  
Why me? Why? Why?  
I asked myself that constantly. So I trained and trained without any breaks. I threw myself into every spin, jump, and step sequence as if it were my last.  
Even so it still wasn’t enough for all of them.  
Soon enough I stop seeing that Good Boy.  
What stared back at me was someone I had never encountered.  
My body had taken the form they want.  
My true self had forgotten his goals and happiness to please you.  
Tears stained that face once filled with hope.  
They had broken me without me actually realizing that I was living with cracks all over. 

I’m sorry I couldn’t keep this heart pure and filled with joy mom. I grew tired of trying to keep the cold substance which makes me the most beautiful from overtaking my heart. 

After all these years you still tell me Good Boy and they’re met by my reserved smile but those words no longer feel as good as they did when I first heard them. You don’t know any better and I won’t let you know. I’ll keep playing the role of the Good Boy for your sake, their sake, and even my sake because once my grasp on this role softens I’ll cease to exist.


End file.
